Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Oh, no. not again.

Pittsburgh 27, Notre Dame 22

"Curiously, the only thing that the bowl of petunias thought as it fell was, 'Oh no, not again.' Many have argued that if we knew why the bowl of petunias thought this, we should have a better understanding of the universe than we do now." --The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Bowl of Petunias

You can't deny it. That's EXACTLY what we are. We are like that bowl of petunias from the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, watching our team plummet into the fourth quarter, trying to scrape together a win again and again and again. And on the sideline is the team, having a lot of thoughts just like the whale, trying to make things happen.

And sometimes the whale splashes into the sea and swims cheerfully off into next week's game.

And sometimes it slams head-first into the ground.

Either way, I can bet you the only thing the fans are thinking is, Oh no. Not again.

(If you have no idea what I'm talking about, just don't...don't even worry about it.)

I've calculated your chance of survival, but I don't think you'll like it.
--Marvin the Robot

So.......I think this quote pretty much sums up Charlie's job situation right now.

Which is too bad, really, because it's just another distraction the team / coaching staff DOESN'T need if they want to avoid another disgusting 6-6 end to a season.

Not that I'm suggesting we're going to lose to UConn. I'm just saying that the rest of the season looks pretty bleak when you consider that our offense didn't bother to show up for the first half of the last game, Michael Floyd still looks as rusty as an old man's pickup truck, and Stanford just scored more points against USC than ANY TEAM EVER.

Have I been to this planet before? ...I HAVE been here before!

I think we've been on this planet all season long. This can't-get-it-done-til-the-
last-second planet. And, even then, we can only really accomplish the getting-it-together business against teams that aren't very good. You could make an argument for Boston College, I guess--but really, who wants to think about Boston College right now?

It's too bad our offense and defense can't show up for the same quarter. In the first half, that would've been...really helpful.

So. This is basically the same stuff we've seen all season long: 65% passing from Jimmy, 5.5 ypc for Armando Allen, 100+ yards receiving and 2 TDs for Golden Tate, and very little offensive production until the fourth quarter. The defense did enough to enable the offense to win. And this week, for the fourth time, we came up short.

At this point in the season, I'm gonna have to say: this is just the team we've got. I'm going to keep hoping for a really miraculous transformation in the sunshine in California, but...it's the end of the season. Everyone's got to be worn out by now, and I feel like all the major problems we have aren't things you can fix in a one- or two-week stint. When you don't show up for all four quarters of a football game...when your veteran O-line gets penalized week after week...when you can't buckle down and make things happen except in the clutch.... I don't know, maybe it's just me, but that sort of screams lack of discipline and fundamentals, doesn't it? And if they don't have those by now, it ain't gonna never happen.

Not this season anyway.

42 23
--The answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything

For the purposes of our team, the answer to the Ultimate Question is Golden Tate.

The kid absolutely will not quit, no matter what the odds. Not even when the Vogons have destroyed our planet and we've been tooling around the galaxy with the idiot who signed the orders.

Also, I'm pretty sure that pretty much every Irish fan in existence zapped Golden Tate with the Point of View gun, because general consensus before/during/after the game seemed to be that it had been way too freaking long since ND ran a punt back for a touchdown, and somebody needed to do something about it.

So thank YOU, Golden, for making it happen.

Infinite Improbability Drive

Odds Charlie will be back next season?

Odds the Irish will score 55 points against Stanford?

Odds Zach Frazer will show the Irish a thing or two about quarterbacking?

...............I don't even want to know.

I don't have a lot of words this week. At this point in the season, there's very little left to say.

Only two weeks of football left... I'm just taking it one day at a time. (Too bad there's no patch on the market for football withdrawal.)


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